I’ve been yearning for the Tantus Splash on a purely aesthetic level for as long as I’ve known about the company. It’s gorgeous: a head that reminds me in equal parts of a bottle-nosed dolphin and the Alien, pearlescent purple dual-tone silicone, the dribbling globule shape.
And it’s increasingly difficult to find in the UK.
When I found somewhere selling them, I got rather excited. I got up early every day for the next week, despite knowing the post doesn’t come until about lunchtime, because I didn’t want to miss its arrival.
The Splash is deceptive even up close. It looks both bigger and smaller than it actually is. The head is quite girthy, but the core is rather slim; the dribbles add considerably to the width further down, but they’re well spaced and therefore there’s no overly intimidating sections to deal with – once you’ve got over that broad, smiling dolphin, tip.
The base is thinner than that on the other Tantus toys in my collection (I’ve got quite a few now, hurrah), to the extent that it doesn’t stand up on its own quite as happily as them – it was a serious job getting the upstanding photo above. While this allows for juvenile minds such as mine to take great pleasure in giving it a good waggle, I suspect it might affect how well it works in a harness.
The dribbles – it feels wrong to call them something so clumsy – each cascade down from the head, delineated sharply on the shaft, rising out of gentler grooves at the head.
There’s a lot to take in.
So the first time I used it I probably did it a massive disservice. I was almost expecting to be disappointed. After all, I’d been lusting after it for ages, and no fantasy object ever lives up to the dream. But I was also nervous and tired and knew I probably wasn’t in the right frame of mind to take in all that detail.
And I was right. There was too much for me to focus on. Me! The woman who needs the sexual equivalent of a one man band to orgasm!
It excited me a great deal but it confused me at the same time. It made me moan, whimper, shiver and I may have blown a few neurons trying to process all that magnificent input.
I had to stop, in favour of the slightly less confusing, slightly more focused, sensations offered by the FSoG Drive Me Crazy.
I gave myself a few days, choosing to revisit the Splash when I knew I’d be better rested and have more time.
Those dribbles – the spacing, their depth, the fact that they provide texture all around the shaft – provide extra sensation without having to think angles, how much to thrust, how far in the dildo is inserted. There’s something going on practically the whole time. And while my G-spot may not be as voracious as it once was, the back of my vaginal wall loves the attention and texture of that lowest dribble. Its mate, towards the front of the toy, caters to the same area as the knobbles on the Drive Me Crazy, but in a different way.
Depending on how deeply the toy is inserted, the other dribbles have a similar effect on other parts of my vagina.
They always catch me by surprise, eliciting pleased sounding grunts and the sort of gasps that I’m learning must frustrate writers of erotica, because “oh!” just doesn’t do them justice.
But don’t overlook the ridges. Yes, they’re subtle compared to the rivulets of silicone that pour down from them, but hold back and enjoy them in their own right.
Inserting the Splash just an inch or so with the curve to the front, they’re textured enough to stimulate and excite without the distraction of the dribbles.
They’re similar to the grooves on the Annabelle Knight Vibrating Love Egg, which still reduces me to giggles every time I use it – but because this is a dildo, far more controllable and directable.
The only problem I have with the Tantus Splash is cleaning it.
It’s pure silicone, so it can withstand being sterilised, boiled, bleached and so on – but the extreme texture means it collects serious amounts of gunk. It needs a lot of soaping or scrubbing or both – and plenty of rinsing, and then a look over again once it’s dry.
But much as I hate washing up, the Tantus Splash is worth it.
It’s beautiful, it’s tactile, and even now I’ve got my head around it, it surprises and overwhelms me in an entirely good way.